Review: Superman #707

Published on January 18th, 2011

First off, let me start off this review by saying that I have never been a die-hard Superman fan and I think that J. Michael Stracynski is one of the most overrated people in the history of comics. Although I do enjoy a good Superman story line. So far JMS’s “Walking with Kal” aka “Grounded” story line has been very hit or miss for me. This new issue was maybe one of the worst books I have read in my 26 plus years of reading comics.

superman707The book opens up with Superman still walking across the U.S. Helping out people which I am fine with, then we see him talking on a FUCKING cell phone?  That’s right, it is not a typo he is talking on a cell phone with Lois as she is telling him to remember the old truth, justice and the American way. Superman has to get off his cell phone to put out a factory that is on fire. I would like to know if he ever updates his Facebook status with “Putting out a fire” from his phone. Anyway Superman helps out the people in this factory because that is something Superman would do right?

Then we see Lois talking with one of the workers named Manuel. Manuel got in touch with Lois about a story for the Daily Planet about how there are high levels of “chloride” in the water table and how EPA officials were bribed and all that fun stuff. So you’re thinking Superman comes here to help out the working class by helping Lois get a BIG time story. Then the people who work at the plant beg Lois, Superman, and Manuel not to shut them down since their families are depending on the plant to stay alive.

So I am reading and telling myself that Superman is not just going to talk to the plant manager to clean up their act. He’ll actually do something to ring justice on them. I am sure Green Arrow would love to help out on this one. But what does Superman do? He tells them to clean up their act and just walks away. WTF right? He also tells his wife and co-worker, Lois to kill the story.

Is Superman getting a paycheck from these dirty plant managers? I get it that he is looking for his self and etc. on his walk about, but this is not something he would do, the guy is SUPERMAN and he’s also Clark Kent (I am sure Papa Kent would be pissed off at him right now if he was still alive). Are they telling us that the man of steal is okay with a chemical plant leaking poisons into the water, but hey don’t worry because Superman just went and asked them nicely to clean up their act. No I am sorry but this is BULLSHIT. Even if this is some red Kryptonite that’s making him not give a shit.

This is not what Superman is all about. Maybe when JMS was plotting this issue he was too busy working on that Superman Earth One and he got Superman mixed up with that emo Earth One Superman. How about rebuild the plant? He is Superman and it would only take him 5 minutes to do it.

Lois walks away from Superman, then we see Superman on his cell phone one more time as he tries to make up with Lois for being an ass-hat. Then a group of people called the Superman Squad show up and tell him they have all the answers? One of them looks like she is just a huge condom, then another one looks like she is making herself sick by not eating, the kid looks like Steve-O and a few of Willy Wonka’s oompa loompas had sex and made this kid, and the last one is trying too hard to look like President Obama.

I am still going to reading the rest of this mess that is called “Grounded” to see how this ends up, but what a waist of my time this is. I’m just very disappointed. So ComicImpact readers save your self $2.99 plus tax and go make yourself a sandwich. That would be more fun than reading this shit. Fuck this book I am going to  read Kirby’s Fourth World, that’s the Superman I love.

Simon Daoudi